Only people who have raised an older feral kitten can understand what an achievement it is for your cat to be able to sleep in such an open, vulnerable position. I have put so much work into this cat to help him get where he is today. There are setbacks from time to time, with my husband Aaron and I often having to fish him out from hiding. It took me a long time to realize that our kitty, Rigby, would often be out and about with me during the week days when Aaron wasn’t home, but on weekends, and only weekends, he would sleep in the closet or under the bed. I realized he thought he wasn’t allowed to be out in the main thick of things when Aaron was home. I tried to fix it by pulling him out, but he’d keep going back. I then realized Aaron had to be the one to do it because he needed his daddy to tell him it was okay to be out when he was home. It worked.
It’s a constant struggle of dealing with regression and trying to figure out how to help him and then doing the actual work of helping him. He is still afraid of other people. He is still afraid of open windows for fear of hearing voices of our neighbors outside. He still becomes alert when he hears the neighbors coming and going from their apartment. And, being his mom, I know all these emotions that go through his mind. I am hyperaware of what effect these little life happenings have on my sweet cat. And I always play the mom role and think of what I can do to help him, what he needs most in this moment. Sometimes I comfort him. Sometimes I ignore it so as to not make a big deal out of it to try to make it become an innocuous background noise for him and for him to reach the conclusion that it is a nonthreat on his own. Sometimes I distract him with a quick pet, a call of his name and sweet talk, or treats. Sometimes I put on a fan so he cannot hear it. Sometimes I close the window.. It’s a struggle that can be annoying from time to time, but ultimately I cherish it.
This bond, of playing mother to a cat who has needs different from a nonferal cat, is so special to me. I get to help him and even when it fails or may be unnecessary, I gain something from it; in moments like these, when Rigby can just enjoy and take comfort in his own home, I feel happiness. Completely social and fearless cats are beautiful, wonderful companions, but feral cats have their own unique life that holds a relationship you can’t find elsewhere.
Rigby: 3 years old, 6 month feral foster who we later adopted
(*Disclaimer: please do not go out and trap your local feral and expect it to come round if you have not had prior experience or training with it! They can injure you if not properly handled. Please consult with your local rescue organization for proper techniques and fostering.)
